Okie, so here's a quick post to get that little anger character off the top. I leave for Tennessee tomorrow, and as usual I'm quite worried, but that's nothing new. I have ten million billion pounds of homework tonight, and I haven't begun packing, so I'm slightly worried about that, but I think it'll be ok. However, I'm in a pretty ok mood, partly because, as Greg once called me, I am indeed a fangirl. To understand what I mean, see the NIN Hotline link to the left of the page. Wooo wooo. :)

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

I think I fixed my own color error in the links from yesterday! If I did, I feel super special and proud.

I didn't think I would have time to write letters at all before the end of this semester, but now I'm feeling all inspired today. However, I have no envelopes, or stamps, and it's Sunday, and therefore the campus post office is closed, as I'm sure all others are as well. And I do have real homework I should be doing today. Hmm. We'll have to see how much time I have after the homework and Kremlin Chamber Orchestra concert.

I bought some sneakers at Target, and finally got my Halloween pictures developed. A good weekend in general, though once again I managed to screw things up with my wild mood swings. Overall, though, getting better. And now, back to bed.

Changed around some links, got rid of some that don't get posted on anymore, added some. Man, that took way more time than it probably should have. Now, it's off to a shower.

Weeell. Attempted to hash things out "once and for all" last night. I actually think it was a moot point, though, cause later I found out there was even MORE that was being kept from me, and the fact that such cowardice was displayed when I was going out of my way to, heh, confront and collaborate, leaves me without patience. The ball is in her court regarding this information. Personally, I've lost all patience.

I'm still attempting to avoid melting down from the sheer loads of work I have. Last night was truly a Bad Call; I didn't start my homework til eleven, and was so exhausted I doubt it's even coherent. And I still didn't finish it; I'll have to do Quantitative Reasoning instead of eating lunch today. Just one more reason why I need to stay the hell out of that train wreck downstairs.

No concert tonight, thank god. I need to do some work, and possibly practice the piano. The fact that I have a lesson looming on Thursday makes me want to cry.

Well, this past week has been one of meltdown and recovery. All in all, I think I've done ok, though I haven't been able to stop the emotional outbursts; still, I think overall they're shorter. Hopefully it will get even better. I became totally overwhelmed earlier today, when considering all I have to do a) this week, b) the rest of the semester, c) next semester, d) to get into grad school and d) for the rest of my life. And I felt like Shamu. But after a minor freakout, things started calming down bit by bit. I need to good gossip to distract me. I see now that I enjoy what others call gossip and I call trivia simply for the same reasons I enjoy a good book; I like to see what happens.

Tonight we went to see the Deftones. Also got to see Melo, and catch up, well, as well as one can by shouting into the other person's ear. Apparently we were standing in the very spot she usually does. Quelle coincidence. It was good to catch up. It was a good concert, and I'm quite pleased, but I don't think it replaces my all-time favorite concert. Still, definitely fun, and I'm glad I got to go. I have slight misgivings about not trying to go to the APC concert that's tomorrow, but I don't know if it could replace how fabulous this summer's concert was, and besides, I doubt Paz will drop in on this concert the way she did in Chicago, and she was always my favorite part of the original lineup anyway, so there you go.

Je suis fatigue, so I think I shall head for bed before I fall asleep at my desk. Though it had its ups and downs, it was a good night overall.

Arrghh. Just when things are going well, I have to mess them up. As usual. And this month I really wanted things to be different. And it makes me think: I am dealing with a truly wonderful, patient person, who accepts me even with my many faults. And even still it's hard. And not everyone can be wonderful and patient.

So...what if all along, this entire time, it's always been all my fault?

I've been told I'm wrong, and I should go to bed, and I will, but still I wonder.

So, Halloween has now passed. I must say, I'm fairly relieved. This was definitely not a relaxing month, and I still have a few more weeks of craziness, but I think things (hopefully) are calming down. For the actual night, I hung out and carved a pumpkin and waited to potenitally give out candy, but didn't cause there were no trick-or-treaters by the time I was there (I missed the grand total of four). So, we watched 28 Days Later, which is still messing with me once again. :) Ooooh, and Mario Golf is one of the most fun games ever. Even if I know nothing about golf, and was playing with three guys who definitely did. I still beat most of em, though. :D

I had a near heart attack when Jim disappeared for a few days, but apparently he is alive...that is, until Krista gets at him, I'm sure.

Halloween is also just no good for Michelle. Thankfully, she too is ok, but still...just no good.

Yeah, so my party sucked this year. :P It was just a bad year for parties, I think, and I did a bad job of telling people about it...which also seems to be a problem this year. :P Oh, well. I refuse to be pouty anymore, and hey, there's always my birthday...or some random holiday...or something.

I now have two cameras that need to be developed. Soon.

In case you couldn't tell, I am half asleep and am not doing much more than reporting stuff. So here's a bit more: tomorrow is my homework day. I have french, well, that's about it: french. I also have a concert in the morning, and a Pinehurst meeting at night. And my room needs to be cleaned. And Thursday I have a paper due, so I have to start researching Daphnis et Chloe by Ravel. And I have to practice the piano. And thus you have my agenda. Exciting, isn't it?

Anyway, the concert call time is 8:30 am, which means I have to get up at like 7 at least, so I should head for bed. Perhaps something of substance will follow after my oh-so-busy day tomorrow.